The Secret Life Of A Trenton Police Detective
by Two Guns and a Knife
Summary: Joseph A. Morelli, Trenton's very own Hairy Italian Stallion, is dead. Come join the ride, Babe, and find out who killed him. And do stop crying, Cupcakes, Joe is now in a much better place. Theme Song: I Ran by A Flock Of Seagulls.
1. Alright, Who Did It?

**Alright, Who Did It?**

Trenton police detective Joseph A. Morelli, aka Officer Hottie, but better known as the Hairy Italian Stallion, aged 34, 11 months and 154 days, lies with eyes wide open on an uncomfortable bed inside a cheap motel room not that far from Route 1, dead, and naked.

It is yet another typical cool early spring day here in New Jersey. The sun is lazy. The wind is light. The clouds are thin. The air inside this small dark room is stale and stuffy. Both the door and the window are locked. The curtain is drawn. The old TV is on, playing a relatively new farce movie. A dozen empty beer cans scatter on the carpeted floor like bowling pins among the pile of clothes. A half-eaten cheeseburger stands like a loyal sentry on top of an empty pizza box near a limp unmoving foot. If dead men can talk, what will this one tell? His once bright melted chocolate eyes keep their silence. His slightly parted lips are firmly sealed. His dark handsome face is now forever frozen in surprise. The eagle tattoo perches silently on top of his unbeating heart. There is no knife or gunshot wound on his furry body. There is no blood stain on the bed sheet under him. He just lies there peacefully seeing nothing, naked as the day he was born, and dead.


	2. There's A Reason For Everything

**There's A Reason For Everything**

It's long past check out time. Still no one picks up the phone. The 47-year-old thin, white, still single, bald motel manager comes with a forced cheerful smile to knock politely on the door. The night has turned chilly, and business is slow. The manager knocks again, harder and louder this time, but still no answer. He blows out an impatient sigh, reaches for the master key card and lets himself inside. He feels the familiar headache returning. This happens every week. Some drunkard messed up the room big time and skipped without paying for the damage. He wishes he was somewhere warm. He wishes he had a better job. He wishes he was as good looking as Johnny Depp or George Clooney. And, of course, he wishes he has more money than Warren Buffett and Bill Gates combined. But he's always being a practical man. He has learned to accept and live with his poor, dull life. The smell hits his nose before he turns on the light. He covers his mouth and nose, takes one look, and runs out into the parking lot and throw up immediately.

The police soon arrives. The news then burns through the whole Trenton more fiercely and faster than any wildfire. And by the time the four TPD police cars screech to a stop in front of Terry Gilman's elegantly decorated house, the cold-eyed blonde is already gone.


	3. It Wasn't Me

**It Wasn't Me...**

The room was registered under a fake name Morelli often used on undercover missions. The TPD knows he and Gilman usually met at least two or three times every couple weeks at some random motel to exchange informations. One motel maid said she saw a tall blonde woman fitting Gilman's description leave the room and drive away hurriedly in a bright red Ferrari earlier. The young desk clerk on duty at that time happens to be an avid Ferrari fan and therefore took special notice of the plate number. It was Gilman's car. The maid then identified her by a picture. Another maid remembered hearing yelling, screaming and shouting coming out of the room. It sounded like Discovery or Animal Planet wild animal sex at that time, but now all of a sudden she isn't that sure. Word on the street is that the Grizolli Family is not very happy with his blackmailing and threatening them into cooperation. The newest Burg Rumour has it that Terry is not too happy with Joseph's helpless and hopeless obsession with Stephanie Plum(soon to be Manoso). So it didn't take long for the leading detective to bark out an order to bring Gilman in for questioning.

The officers and detectives from TPD are just about to knock on Terry Gilman's front door when they find it ajar. They cautiously push it wide open, call out to identify themselves, step inside, and immediately spot the cold-eyed blonde. Terry Gilman lies at the base of the stairs with unseeing eyes wide open and a Glock loosely held in her limp lifeless hand. And they really don't need to see the gaping gunshot wound on her head and the big pool of blood beneath her to know that she is already gone and as dead as a doornail. What makes their hearts sink is the three words apparently written in blood on the floor beside her cold dead body:

_**It Wasn't Me.**_


	4. Nothing PersonalOr Not?

****Nothing Personal...Or Not?****

The murderer smiles a bright happy killer smile. Tiny wrinkles appear around the pair of cold determined killer eyes. Justice. Revenge. Karma. Payback. Or a heartless, cold-blooded crime. Call it whatever you want. Indifferently the murderer does a mental shrug. It doesn't matter any more now that the target is forever gone. A duty is a duty. A job is a job. Nobody is born a soulless killing machine. We all have to do whatever we have to do. And sometimes someone needs to step up and get it done. Period. It's just as simple as that. The murderer takes off the clothes and heads into the bathroom for the needed long hot thorough shower, washes off all the thrill and whatever emotion triggered by the...event, then emerges from the steaming bathroom 17 minutes later once again as a normal human being, and wonders what's for dinner.

It is just another ordinary day. People die everywhere every day. And the person who's responsible for the two lives lost today feels absolutely no regret.


	5. And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away

**And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away**

She runs ahead without a backward glance. She's running for her life. She just wants to put everything behind. She just wants to start a new life. She wants to be somewhere safe. She needs to be somewhere far, far away. She cherishes her own life. She's too young to die. Yes, she was there when it happened. She knows who did it. She saw the one who did it. And she knows without a trace of doubt that she too will be killed if she fails to erase her memory or keep her mouth shut. And she really, really doesn't want to die. She hasn't found her soul mate. She hasn't found her true love. She hasn't found her handsome prince in shining armour. She hasn't lived a real life. She's too young to die. Too young to die...


	6. It's Not That Complicated Really

**It's Not That Complicated. Really. **

They all try hard not to laugh. Some fail, as expected, and quickly start faking coughs to disguise the laughter while the others fight the impossible war to put their rebelling face muscles back under control. One of the shaking uniform cops finally loses it and hurriedly places a hand over the lower half of his face in a desperate attempt to stifle the bubbling giggles. And that's when they all lose it and burst into a collective fit of uncontrollable crazy, raspy, gasping laughter. Of course they are aware of the fact that they are still in mourning of their fallen colleague, but still, they just can't help it. They are not finding excuses. It's but part of human nature. Pure and simple.

They know it was not Stephanie Plum. Multiple eyewitnesses, as well the infamous Burg Grapevine, confirm that during the time frame of the crimes, Ms. Plum and her two shopping mates—Ms. Connie Rosolli and Ms. Lula, yes, just Lula—were all dreamy eyes and blushing cheeks inside the newly opened high-end French lingerie boutique shopping for her upcoming wedding and honey moon. They also know for a fact that Ms. Plum's future husband and current fiancé, Mr. Carlos Manoso, aka Ranger, didn't do it. Both crime scenes are too messy. It doesn't fit his signature sleek, clean, no-nonsense style. And Ranger never leaves a dead body behind. A couple experienced senior detectives wipe away their tears and try to catch their breath. The only time he ever did that was to leave a message. To Eddie Abruzzi's "family" and associates. And it worked like magic.

The hardworking police officers and detectives of TPD laugh the last ounce of laughter out of their system and return to their duty. With a big smile on their face, though. Joseph A. Morelli, the World's NO.1 Cupcakes Hoarder and Trenton's very own Italian Stallion, choked to death by a cupcake. OMG. WTF. LOL. What a way to die, indeed.


	7. Confession

**Confession**

She is going to be a mother. She looks at her own unhappy reflection in the huge dressing mirror and feels the numbness go through her whole body. She never thought she will one day become a pregnant woman. She wants to laugh. She wants to cry. She wants to yell and scream out all her surprise, fear and frustration. It won't take long for her belly to show. It won't take long for the whole fucking world to know. She should have been more careful. She should've held her ground instead of giving in to the sudden pang of passion. She should've said NO to the warm charming seductive smile of the serpent. It's too late now. She sighs for the hundredth time as her heart sinks to an endless bottom. There's no redemption. She will have to tell her husband...


	8. Confession No 2

**Confession No. 2**

Great. She is pregnant. Again. She throws the 5th pregnancy test into the trash bin and feels like crying. What is she going to do? She doesn't think she can survive another abortion this time. She thought she could handle it like an adult, mature human being, but it turned out the guilt was way too suffocating and overwhelming. And all those nightmares about her deserted unborn baby are beyond horrible and scaring. She has lost count how many times she wakes up crying and gasping and praying for forgiveness. Too bad the rat bastard is already dead. She really wishes she could strangle him with the cheap fake Hermès scarf he bought her at Christmas. "Well, it looks the same to me." She remembers too well the it's-no-big-deal look he gave her and the casual shrug that followed. She has no clue why the Hell she fell for him. He was nothing more than a male dominant pig, a movie star handsome face attached to a selfish, wandering dick.

She stands up from the toilet seat, grabs a garbage bag and starts throwing all his things inside. She's glad he's dead. Maybe being a single mom won't be too bad...


	9. Confession No 3

**Confession No. 3**

Vito Grizolli doesn't cry. It's simply not his style. He has seen a lot, heard a lot, and done a lot in this cruel and simple special world that's all he has and will ever have. We are all responsible for what we say and what we do, his cold, steel-like heart frowns at him just like his dear poor dead Mama. And Terry had made her choice. It doesn't matter now how poor a choice that was. Not any more. Vito closes his old sharp yet so tired eyes and listens hard to the dead silence of his too empty house. His favorite niece is now gone. And nothing can ever change that. People die everywhere, every day. We all have to go down this path.

But if only we could turn back the time. Softly he whispers back to his cold steel-like grieving heart. If only we could turn back the time...


	10. Confession No 4

**Confession No. 4**

It was but a moment of weakness. Nothing more. Nothing less. An one-time affair, plain and simple. Then another, and another. And another. It was her hormones. It was the loneliness. It was her anxiety. It was her desire to be beautiful, sexy, wanted, and lusted for. It was her need for assurance. It was her sense of insecurity. It wasn't her, it wasn't who she really is. It was just a moment of weakness. She is better than that, better than that. She quickly wipes away her tears, blows her nose, gives herself a big warm smile and goes into her kitchen to make dinner for her children and her husband.

She is so grateful and relieved that she is not pregnant.


	11. Men Can Bake

**Men Can Bake**

Baking a cupcake is easy as pie and no big deal. Add a little bit this, put in a little bit of that, mix, pour, turn on the oven, sit down and read another chapter of Robert Crais's**_ Taken_**, and Voila! You get yourself a cupcake that looks perfectly tempting, tasty and moist but is in fact extremely hard to swallow and all willing to help you choke. The pâtissier takes another sip of his perfectly brewed Blue Mountain elegantly and blows out another happy, contented sigh. The sun is up. The sky is grayish blue. The temperature is not satisfying but acceptable. The air is just slightly tainted. And no birds are chirping in the half-bare trees. For once life is peace and quiet here in the friendly and beautiful city of Trenton, NJ. Thank God the shameless manslut who had all the potential to star in the newest season of Jersey Shore is forever gone. He gently puts down his fine bone china coffee cup and rests his cool clear eyes on the small navy blue velvet box on the antique coffee table. Now that there's no more obstacle in his way, he's pretty sure the woman he's secretly been in love with for so many years will finally say yes to his proposal. He toys with the shining diamond ring and smiles his polite happy smile.

Yes, sometimes plain simple flour is really mightier than gunpowder.


	12. Desire To Kill

**Desire To Kill**

The Plum-Morelli Final Break Up Fight is both legendary and epic. Everyone lucky enough to be inside Pino's that particular Monday noon was so impressed and extremely awed that none of them ever thought of catching the priceless moment with their cameras or cell phones to share it with the whole world on YouTube. The innocent audience choked on their pizzas or subs or pastas when Ms. Plum narrowed her eyes, repeatedly poked one finger into Morelli's chest and snarled into his reddened face, "There is 'you', and there is 'me', but there is no 'us', **_Cupcake_**. Capishe?" The audience then spewed their soups and drinks as Ms. Plum kneed Morelli real hard in the groin and left him rolling on the floor in great agony when he tried to grab hold of her arms to yell at her.

That was 13.5 months ago. Trenton's very own Bounty Hunter From Hell, Stephanie Plum, then moved in with Carlos Manoso, aka Ranger, 2 months later. Neil McCauley, a divorced man with 3 teenage daughters and the leading detective on the Morelli and Gilman murders, happens to be the rare privileged few present that very day. And it was also the first time in his 47 years of life the senior police detective ever snorted spaghetti out of his nose.

Detective McCauley never liked Morelli or his cocky attitude, and always found his connections to an infamous Mob Family somewhat disturbing. According to several trustworthy informants and the sometimes surprisingly accurate Burg rumours, there'd always been something fishy between Morelli and his blonde Mob contact, and the late Italian Stallion had been sleeping around New Jersey like a wild bunny in heat ever since Ms. Plum dumped his sorry hairy ass in front of the whole Burg. Single, windowed, married, and divorced. Twenties, thirties, and forties. Asian, Latina, black, and white. Blonde, brunette, redhead, and Snow-White black. You name it, Joe "had" it. And that is exactly the reason why McCauley wants to bring Morelli back to life to choke the rat bastard to death over and over again with his own bare hands.

There are simply way too many suspects.


	13. An Usual Dinner

**An Usual Dinner**

Yes, he knows his wife is pregnant. With another man's child. But he doesn't really care that much. Now that the bastard is gone, his life will once again turn back to normal. And that's exactly what he wants. He sniffs the air and smiles. Pasta and Broccoli, his favorite dinner dish. He knows his wife is feeling guilty. He knows she's been trying to work up enough courage to tell him. And he feels sorry for her. They are now both in their late 30s, and have already given up hope to have any children after almost 15 years of marriage. It may be really hard to believe, but he does love her. A lot. That's part of the reason why he lets her have control over everything in their life. They both know he's not good enough for her. They both know she deserves better. And they both know he's not a really good or even faithful husband. But she always forgives him and takes him back no matter what. She loves him. Period. And that's more than enough for him to forgive her for anything, and everything. He smiles up at his wife as she puts the plate of steaming pasta in front of him nervously. And the moment she looks into his gentle loving eyes, she sees the truth.

He knew. He knew everything. Her fling of passion that doomed day. Her shame and regret the following days. And the child she's now carrying. So he planned and triggered the two murders. She wants badly to tell him she is really, really sorry, but he grabs hold of her shaking hand, brings it to his lips and tells her silently, "Love is never having to say you're sorry." Lucille Plum blinks back her tears and smiles down at her husband. It's really good to have Vinnie as a husband when he's not cheating. And her father will be thrilled to know he's going to have a grandbaby.


	14. A Woman's Dilemma

**A Woman's Dilemma**

Jeanne Ellen Burrows widens her eyes and stares at the beautiful diamond ring inside the small navy blue velvet box and dazedly wishes her mess of a life can be less complicated. She wants to know what is wrong with her. She really does. She's in her early 30s, has a successful career, and looks like Michelle Pfeiffer in her prime. But she never has any luck when it comes to men. All the men before Ranger were too dumb or too dull to truly appreciate or accept her as she is. And Ranger was simply not interested in long term serious relationship at that time. So she gave up and started fooling around a bit and finally met Joe the Fucking Rat Bastard Morelli. And she has never ever thought of Les Sebring, who looks exactly like Gay Perry/Val Kilmer in **_Kiss Kiss Bang Bang_**, as a dating option. She likes Les, she really does. He's always been a good boss and loyal friend to her all these years. She knows for a fact that they can share a quiet, happy, fulfilled life together without major drama, but she has made up her mind to keep her baby. And it won't be fair to ask him to accept the whole package.

"Les," She so wants to have a strong shoulder to lean on. She so wants to have a warm body next to her in cold lonely nights. But she can't do this to a man who has just told her he's been in love with her for years. _It's not the right thing to do._ She tells herself firmly. _We can't be this selfish._ "I'm carrying Joe Morelli's baby, and I'm gonna keep it." All right, she finally said it. _There goes our last chance to happiness. _Jeanne Ellen then blinks in surprise as Les Sebring's ever so polite and soft voice sounds in her ears as his warm large hand takes hold of hers gently after a long silence.

"I will love the child as my own, Jeanne, I promise. Just give me a chance, please."

Damn. She so needs to call Ranger and ask him what she should do.


	15. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

******Kiss Kiss Bang Bang** ****

Few people know Terry Gilman had a fiancé.

Instead of a union of love, it was a union for the mutual benefits and best interests of both families. Yes, it's already 12 years into the 21st century, but the Vittis, just like the Grizollis, are a respectable Family with a very long history, and old Families stick to old traditions and old rules no matter how much time and the outside world change around their unique Universe. And truth is, Paul Vitti, the tall dark handsome smart and ruthless 36-year-old Mob Prince from New York City, was not a bad match for Terry at all. He is the proud, successful owner of several high-end restaurants, bars and night clubs, and he fell for the tall curvy cold-eyed blonde who looked like a perfect combination of a young Sharon Stone and Charlize Theron almost immediately the first time they met each other at Vito's summer house in the Hamptons.

Terry later admitted to her uncle that although she was still unsure about the arrangement_, _she did quite like Paul and his sharp sense of humour. But alas, as all the people in Trenton know, Terry always had a thing for her high school sweetheart, and she never ever said NO to Joe Morelli. And even if Paul is a very understanding and forgiving man, he still has his pride and a limited patience. He chose not to aim at Morelli's head and heart and let the half-naked cop jump out of Terry's bedroom window when he saw the pain and panic in Terry's teary eyes that night. He then flat out warned his fiancée that he never shares and he won't allow this to happen again. But it didn't take long for the ever so enterprising Morelli to find his way back into Terry's bed again. The moment Paul watched the video someone sent to his iPhone that day, he went insane with rage.

And thus Vito Grizolli made the most difficult decision of his life that very night...


	16. Femme Fatale

**Femme Fatale **

Helen Plum sighs as she waves goodbye to her elder daughter's family. She sometimes can't help feeling sorry for poor, sweet, always-eager-to-please but clueless Albert, though she's ultimately happy for Valerie and her two elder girls. The struggling bald Jewish lawyer may never be able to provide them with a pony, a swimming pool, and a grand mansion, but he's undoubtedly a caring stepfather and a submissive husband. And what else can a mother ask for her 30-something overweight daughter who didn't get a penny from her scumbag ex-husband? Helen goes back into her tidy, spotless home and locks the front door firmly behind her. She hopes Valerie will finally learn to cherish her second chance to some plain simple happiness and stop making foolish mistakes. She is simply relieved that all the problems are now...permanently **_solved_**, and you bet she's damn happy her elder daughter is not carrying Joe Morelli's brat.

Yes, people are definitely not joking when they say "You can't hide anything from your mother's eyes".


	17. Love Is Love Is Nothing Without You

******Love Is Love Is Nothing Without You******

People are not joking when they tell you love is complicated. It makes you brave. It makes you weep. It helps you fly and then breaks your wings. And it's the reason Terry Gilman had to die.

The Mob Princess was the main reason why Joe Morelli could walk safely on the darkest Trenton streets like a carefree cocky rooster. She had been doing all she could to protect and help the late ambitious police detective over the past few years. She even stood up against certain younger and reckless members of her Family and made it crystal clear that she, Vito Grizolli's favorite niece, had just the power and the resources to track down whoever thought of harming Detective Morelli. She loved him. Pure and simple. Even though she knew Joe would never ever want to marry a member of a notorious crime family. It would not be good to his career. And his mother, a most strict Catholic woman, would never allow someone like Terry to taint the precious Morelli family tree. But she loved him still, no matter what. Even if everyone in the Burg and her Family knew he didn't really loved her. Not for one minute. He was just using her. He only ever wanted his Cupcake, his Stephanie. But still Terry didn't care, and kept on working with Morelli.

Love, alas, had made Terry Gilman blind and oblivious to everything other than the man she loved and wanted, and thus force those who planned to erase Joe Morelli's existence to plan her death, too...


	18. I Just Ran, I Ran All Night And Day

**I Just Ran, I Ran All Night And Day**

The sole witness to the crime dyed her hair. She now calls herself Tiffany, and uses her mother's family name. Every night she scares herself awake bathing in cold sweat in different cheap motels in different cities or towns. She prays no one in Trenton takes notice of her absence, or just presume she's out of town on yet another routine trip hunting for yet another "gold mine" when they find she's gone. She knows she looks like a totally different woman. She knows she keeps her gun on her all the time. She knows her lips are firmly sealed. She knows her memories are all properly erased.

But still the now black-haired Joyce Barnhardt jumps and trembles whenever hearing someone calls "Joyce" behind her back...


	19. Love Is Love Is Everything You Do

******Love Is Love Is Everything** You Do ****

Ranger doesn't feel anything about Joe Morelli's death. He's not glad. He's certainly not sad. He's also not curious about who did it and why. He, as usual and always, has seen and heard enough to know all the possible, if not necessary, answers. He simply doesn't care, as a matter of fact. Karma does exist. We all get what we deserve at the end of the day. And Morelli had it coming. Period. Ranger wraps his arm around his soon-to-be bride and places a kiss on the top of her head. They, of course, are not invited to both funerals. Things did not end well between Stephanie and Morelli 13.5 months ago. And it got even uglier 2 months later when Ranger paid her a midnight visit and ended up prying Morelli off a screaming struggling Stephanie, beating that bastard half dead, and literally throwing him out of her bedroom window and all the way down the fire escape like a worthless piece of garbage. He then spent the rest of the night holding Stephanie in his arms till her tears were drained, and asked her to move in with him when dawn came.

Being desperately and madly in love and thus refusing to give up is one thing. Being a shameless drunkard who tried to overpower and take advantage of a sleeping woman is another. Something warm fills Ranger's heart as Stephanie looks up from her healthy whole wheat half-sugar pancakes and smiles at him. Alright, he lied about not feeling anything about Morelli's death. Ranger admits to himself as he kisses the tiny bit of blueberry syrup off Stephanie's soft red lips. He's more than happy that piece of shit is finally dead. And he's royally pissed that he didn't get to do it...


	20. Blood Revenge

********Blood Revenge********

People in Trenton weren't that dumb. Nobody said a thing even if they did notice Joe Morelli walked with a slight but permanent limp after spending 5 weeks in St. Francis because of that freak _accident._ And they smiled secretly and knowingly at each other when seeing Ranger with Stephanie. Unfortunately, not everyone in this city was that smart. Some of the more gentle persuasion soon surrendered their pity, sympathy and, regrettably, body and maybe a tiny slice of heart to the handsome police detective. His sad vulnerability stirred awake something deep within them and made him more appealing. And none of the unsuspecting ladies ever took notice of the stealthy sly gleam in those sexy chocolate eyes.

Jeanne Ellen Burrows got chosen because of her mentor.

Lucille Plum got picked because she was married to the man who aided and abetted the creation of the infamous Bombshell Bounty Hunter.

It was all natural Valerie Kloughn then fell victim to a most carefully planned seduction while some of her sister's childhood and school-day friends became Morelli's recreation.

The Burg sure had eyes, ears, and a very big mouth. Joe Morelli sighed a contented sigh and smiled a happy smile as he told himself. And it wouldn't be long before the ugly truth exploded and smacked the familiar pretty face that haunted his every day and night. He knew he would not survive another fight with the Man in Black. But there was always a way to stab a man in his back.

And yes, Stephanie Plum was the shining target on Ranger's back.


	21. Easy Lover

**Easy Lover**

The occasional hitman never watches **_Jersey_****_ Shore_**. He's from New York. He has certain standard, you know. And he doesn't like New Jersey at all. People here are even ruder than your average New Yorker, and the air is bad beyond imagination. He's glad he doesn't have to return half the money. He's a bit upset he didn't get to kill the limp cop, but hey, he's definitely not complaining. It's not everyday you got somebody to do your job for you for free. He thinks of the blonde and feels like sighing. How come beautiful women with this particular hair color tend to be stupid? He has just looked into his employer's cold emotionless eyes and explained to the old man why he wrote "It Wasn't Me" in his niece own blood beside her still warm dead body.

He always likes to leave a message. Not to taunt or challenge the police. He just feels the need to tell the world something. Maybe to prove that he doesn't kill for no reason. Maybe to persuade the ghosts of his victims that they had it coming. Maybe it's just fun doing it. He doesn't know the true answer. He's no Freud, Jung or Plato. He's just a half-Irish half-Russian American born in Brooklyn. And he's pretty good at what he's doing. He doesn't feel sorry for the old man. He doesn't feel sorry for the grieving Mob Prince. People die everywhere, every day. We all have to go down this path. We all get what we deserve at the end of the day. He walks out of the little cozy little dinner, melts into the the crowd and disappears without a trace.

And yes, Karma does exist.


	22. Conspiracy

**Conspiracy**

It's a pleasant weekend night. Frank Plum and his wife eat their dinner in rare peaceful silence. His mother-in-law is out on a double blind date hopefully with someone crazy enough to marry her on the spot and immediately move to Florida. His younger daughter and her fiancé are having a family dinner in Newark. And his elder daughter...well, it's a good thing thinking of his elder daughter no longer brings him headache and burning rage. A cab driver like Frank meets a lot of people, hears a lot of stories, and sometimes sees things he never dreams or wishes to see. Being a full time housewife can be boring and frustrating, and even the most devoted stay home mother sometimes feels lonely and unappreciated, he once was told. But that doesn't give you a reason to cheat on your husband with someone like Joe Morelli.

Frank sticks his fork into a piece of boiled broccoli like a righteous knight stabbing his sword through the heart of an evil witch. He and everyone else in the whole Trenton know something bad happened between that bastard and Stephanie the night of the accident though nobody knew the details. He's glad and grateful that Ranger intervened and helped, if not saved, Stephanie. He has no idea what all those young women—especially Valerie—were thinking letting themselves fall victim to that honey-tongued serpent. He never expects anyone to be this stupid, much less his own usually smart elder daughter.

Franks look up from his plate and looks into Helen's clear blue eyes as she lands a gentle hand on his arm. They are both happy at Morelli's death. They've been happily married for over 36 years, and now they don't need words to understand each other. Not any more. Frank gives Helen a smile and returns to his meal.

And they both agree that Vinnie sure is very handy to have as a relative.


	23. Colt Python

**Colt Python **

Joseph A. Morelli's death is finally ruled an accident. It is no surprise, really. They know he had countless enemies. They know there is a never ending list of more than possible suspects and accomplices. But there is also no sign of forced entry or any evidence of a crime or foul play. And they have no choice but to let the evidence speak. So accidental choking it is. Though not an innocent soul in Trenton buys it for one minute. Detective McCauley places a hand over his eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh. He has no lead on the Gilman murder, either. The case just keeps hitting dead end after dead end and it makes he want to yell at or hit somebody so badly.

Everybody knows something but no one is talking. No sign of forced entry. No suspicious fingerprints. No murder weapon. No witness. So far the .357 bullet retrieved from the victim's head is all they got. They still have no idea what "It Wasn't Me" means. And the whole Grizolli Family is being very quiet. Too quiet, actually. He has heard a very interesting rumour a couple days ago, but without solid proof rumours are just rumours. And old Vito's blank face is almost an art in itself...

Detective McCauley decides to call it a day before all these dark unpleasant thoughts make him more depressed than he already is. It's too late for Pino's or the spicy Chinese takeout now, but the frozen pizza, pastas and leftover doughnuts in his refrigerator will rid him of his hunger just the same. He stands up from behind his messy desk, stretches, and yawns. He knows he's not young any more. Being a police detective is never easy, and having to watch criminals walk free is the hardest and worst part of his job. He, just like a lot of senior officers, detectives, captains, sergeants and Chiefs in Jersey, is on friendly terms with Ranger. He roughly knows what happened that night in Miss Plum's old apartment 13.5 months ago. And he, a father of three beautiful girls, can't help feeling more than a bit happy about Joe Morelli's death.


	24. The Last Laugh

**The Last Laugh**

Joseph A. Morelli kissed Terry Gilman goodbye inside the motel room and didn't bother to get dressed. He flipped on the TV and watched **Meet the Spartans **half-heartedly while chewing the already cold cheeseburger. He was always hungry after sex, and the mouth-watering cupcake would be the perfect dessert. He didn't know why he was so obsessed with cupcakes. Maybe that was because his mother always bought him two cupcakes the day after his father had lashed out his anger on him. Maybe he simply liked the gentle, easy sweetness of the cheap pastry. He put the half-eaten cheeseburger on the empty pizza box and reached for the cupcake. Plain vanilla with rich chocolate buttercream frosting on top. His all time favorite. Soft and sweet, familiar and tasty. Just like Stephanie Plum. He also didn't why he was so obsessed with Stephanie. Maybe he had fallen in love the first time ever he'd seen her bright, innocent smile. Maybe he secretly hoped that being with her would rid him of all the darkness and sadness of his life. His eyes drifted from the cupcake to his now slightly and forever twisted leg and his heart hardened. Or maybe he just didn't want to let go of anything or anyone that had used to be his.

So far his plan had worked perfectly. The typical standard Burg women were simple, naïve and borderline stupid. The Cat Woman-like Burrows was lonely and desperate. He couldn't wait to see the shock and pain and hurt and shame in Stephanie's beautiful eyes when the ugly truth came out right in her face. Her elder sister. Her childhood and school day friends. Her distant relatives, in-laws, and acquaintances. All fell victims to him because of her. He laughed a raspy laugh, peeled off the small cupcake wrapper, and with a sudden pang of anger, ate it whole.

And choked.

Then died.

With unseeing eyes wide open in surprise.


	25. LOVE

**L.O.V.E.**

Terry Gilman did not panic. She knew she was going to die a quick yet messy death the moment she looked into the barrel of the Colt Python .357, even if she already had her Glock in her hand. She hadn't heard from Paul for a too long while, she suddenly realized. She knew something was off with her uncle, but she was too distracted by Joe's Great Revenge to really take notice of anything else. Yes, she knew Joe had been sleeping around the whole Trenton, but she chose to hold her silence. She knew he was badly hurt and forever damaged, both physically and mentally. She knew he was dying to get even, to take out his anger and misery on anyone related to Stephanie. She wished she could help. She wished she could chase away the demon in Joe's heart, and bring his charming sincere smile back to life with patience and love. But now it seemed she wouldn't have the chance or time.

She looked straight into her would-be executioner's calm Irish green eyes and started to pray. Maybe she would be lucky enough. Maybe she could outduel him. Maybe she could survive and warn Joe in time. Maybe they could finally have a chance for happiness, just the two of them, somewhere in the ocean, on an island, beneath the cotton candy like clouds, under the clear blue sky—Terry Gilman let out a sighing laugh, pulled the trigger while getting shot in her head, missed her target, and died.

And the very last thought she had before being swallowed by the cold hard eternal darkness was that the clear blue sky would probably remind Joe of his precious Cupcake, Stephanie Plum...


	26. The Delivery Man

**The Delivery Man**

Some people are not hard to please, and cupcakes are easy to make.

At the moment of lust and passion, Joe Morelli always closed his sexy bedroom eyes and called them "Cupcake" in a moaning whispering voice, and with a mixed feeling of surprise, guilt and glee, the women of different ages and physiques ascended the throne and claimed the title, thinking she was special and believing she was his One and Only. Almost everyone of them made it a habit to bring him cupcakes along with pizzas, subs, burgers and beer whenever they met up in some far-off motel, forsaken parking lot, or dark back alley. And from time to time, they would dropped the sweet easy pastry on his doorstep or the hood of his car when they thought no one was looking.

But, alas, there is really no secret under the sun, and it's very, very difficult to hide things from people who know just where and when to look. And just as it's impossible to forget how to ride a bike, the two proud owners of two competing bail bonds agencies never one day forget all the tricks and skills a top-notch bounty hunter needs to know.

They soon knew Morelli's routines by heart. They soon knew what kinds of meeting places Morelli preferred. They soon knew Morelli's favorite brand of beer. They soon knew Morelli's favorite flavors of pizzas, subs, and burgers. And most important of all, they also found out that Joe Morelli never ever said no to any kind of cupcakes, homemade or store bought. And thus a genius plan was carefully made on a windy Monday night, and most discreetly executed on an ordinary Wednesday morning.

The lean greasy Italian who looked sort of like a weasel and his carefully dressed partner smiled their small tight smiles as a unsuspecting Joe Morelli picked up the perfectly and beautifully wrapped cupcake placed on the hood of his navy blue Ford Escape before driving away to meet the Mob Princess.

However, neither of the two has-been top-notch bounty hunters took notice of the red-haired curvy woman frowning at the scene in confusion through her spyglass from a long, safe distance...


	27. A Decent Man

******A Decent Man** ****

People like him. He's never famous for being smart or ambitious, but he's honest, easy tempered, and hardworking. He has always been happy with his life. He knows he's far from perfect. He knows his limits and flaws. He knows we can't have everything we want in life. He knows we sometimes make mistakes out of momentary weakness or confusion. So he quietly forgave his wife and moved on with their life, She and their children are everything to him, and no, he doesn't plan to tell her that he knows about her little episode with Joe Morelli. Some things are better to be left unsaid, he always believes, and he knows she's just another naïve unsuspecting victim who fell into a most carefully set trap. And he's already had his little revenge.

He encountered no problem installing and removing the spy cameras provided by Vinnie Plum inside Terry Gilman's luxury bedroom. He knows the things they caught on video had something to do with Terry's death, but he's not sorry for his action. He, just like many local small business owners, has witnessed first-hand the ugliness and cruelty of the mob, and Terry's cold-blooded malice, recklessness and arrogance had harmed and damaged too many innocent people over the years. It was time someone put a stop to her, and he's still glad that he got to play the Anonymous Hero for the first time in his normal, average ordinary, boring life.

He gives his slightly plump wife a hearty smile and tells her she looks so fantastic in her pink dress that she'll outshine everyone at Stephanie's wedding. She blushes and comes over to straighten his collar and smooth his jacket. He can tell she's really happy about his compliment, and he meant every word he said. People should really pay more attention to the plumber as he works, Lenny Stankovic thinks to himself as he helps Mary Lou round up their kids. And no, he didn't overcharge Terry the renewal of her bathroom though he was very much tempted to.


	28. Mrs Wayne

**Mrs. Wayne **

It took Stephanie a while to stop having nightmares about that night. She has had her fair share of real-life horrors and nightmares ever since she became a bounty hunter, but none of them trumps the helplessness and fear tore through her whole being the moment she woke up to find a drunken Morelli on top of her. The strong smell of alcohol on his breath. The half-crazed gleam in his glassy eyes. The unrelenting deadweight of his body. And those slurred "Cupcake" and "I love you"...She would then woke up crying and screaming in Ranger's arms, and he would then spend the rest of the night holding her tight till she finally calmed down, just like that night.

Stephanie looks down and toys with her Harry Winston diamond and sapphire wedding ring. She knows she's not and shouldn't be the one to blame, yet she sometimes can't help feeling a bit guilty about the whole ordeal. She has no idea why Morelli was so obsessed with her, but maybe things would not have ended this way had she listened to her heart and walked away from her twisted and unhealthy relationship sooner. She sometimes can't help wondering why Ranger loves her, too. She's far from perfect. She has too many flaws. She can be really immature and indecisive at times, and she's a flat-out terrible cook no matter how hard she tries. She holed up inside Ranger's apartment for 8 days without stepping out of the front door or answering her phone, and on the 9th dawn he took her to Point Pleasant. They stayed there for 2 days, and maybe it was the sight of the sea, maybe it was the smell of the waves, maybe it was the 6-inch Tiramisu Ranger ordered for her at the small cozy café, or maybe it was Ranger's sole existence, she soon felt much better and more like her old self. She finally called home the night they went back to Trenton, and she's still grateful that Helen simply asked her how she was in a caring but not overly worried voice and said nothing else.

Life settled back into its normal routine quickly afterward. None of her families, friends or neighbors asked her what happened. The Morellis kept their silence and distance. Vinnie locked himself up inside his office. Even Joyce stayed out of her way. And whenever her FTAs' cars or houses caught fire, her cop friends joked with her like they always did when handing over her cut of their betting pool. And no one ever mentioned Morelli's name in front of her. Ever. The day she first ran into Morelli at TPD, he turned and limped away without a word or a backward glance. Both Eddie and Carl came over to cautiously check on her. But she felt nothing about the man she had once thought she knew and loved. No fear. No anger. No pity. No emptiness. No nothing. She calmly drove back to the bonds office and laughed and chatted over lunch with Connie and Lula.

And that night she proposed.

And Ranger said yes. Without raising his perfect brow.

And now here she stands in an elegant sexy French-made black nighty on her wedding night, waiting for a half-naked Ranger to end an emergency call from a very nervous Tank. She thinks of their wedding as she listens to Ranger's calm commanding voice. The happy smile on her mother's and Grandma's faces. Her father's warm, affectionate embrace. The Manoso clan's hearty hugs and congratulations. The cheers and laughter of their friends. And she can't hold back her giggles as Ranger puts a hand over his eyes and sighs into the phone, "Be down in 3."

Talk about the perks of living two floors above your office, Batman.

**~FIN~**


	29. Epilogue

**~E**pilogue**~**

****What About Love****

Bella Morelli stares at the baby, her bag of doughnuts and cannolis forgotten on the counter. Somehow she can't tear her eyes away from that cute little face, and she wonders why. Her life has fallen into a meaningless pattern ever since her Joseph's death, and the memory of him limping out of his mother's door for the very last time breaks her heart over and over again every night. She wanted to ask Joseph what he did to Stephanie, but she was too afraid to know the answer. So she never asked. And now she will always doubt. Bella can't help smiling as the baby in Vinnie Plum's arms looks up and locks eyes with her. Who would have thought Vinnie would be the father of such a precious pretty little girl? Bella waves goodbye to the giggling child, grabs hold of her bag and walks out of Tasty Bakery to Angie's waiting car. They do not say a word on the way home.


	30. Bonus Chapter

****Bonus Chapter:** What I Did For Love**

Emilia Sebring was born on a bright sunny day. She has her mother's eyes and loves to smile, and is 4 days younger than her half sister Iris Plum. It took her mother, the sleek and smart Jeanne Ellen Burrows, 5 months to think things through and accept the ring and the proposal. And her father, the always polite and soft-spoken Les Sebring, almost died of joy on the happiest day of his life. She holds her father's finger tight in her tiny grasp and peacefully falls asleep, oblivious to all the dangers, threats, and dark secrets lurking in the outside world.

Les looks down at his baby daughter's sweet little sleeping face and sighs. She's just like a beautiful little angel. He's more than happy and grateful to have her in his life. And he loves her and her mother more than his own life. He prays she will be as smart and brave as her mother. He prays she will never know sorrow and pain. He prays she will always be happy and safe. He prays she will meet her prince someday. And he prays she will never find out who and what kind of man her bio father really is. He looks up and smiles as Jeanne Ellen walks into the nursery with a professional camera in her hand.

Their eyes lock for a long minute. They are glad they found each other. And they will do everything to keep their secret safe.


End file.
